The story of the bipolar spectrum. Once upon a time, in a land far far away (the psych void) there was a group of psychiatrists. They held a meeting.
There were urgent matters to discuss and all were called upon to attend. A drug patent – no, drug PATENTS (plural) – were expiring and the kings and queens of the psych void were in panic mode.
“How will we pay for our children’s Ivy League college educations, service the inground swimming pool and buy that new Mercedes,” they frantically wondered.
Secret phone calls were made, the problem at hand discussed in hushed tones.
“Our market share and patient target populations are on the verge of crumbling,” they lamented with the seriousness of a nuclear bomb specialist in the process of detonating Mark 1, 2 and 3 and realizing he was given the wrong code.
And mentally ill persons need our help, was added with all the care and concern of a hooker in the process of applying the fifth codom of the evening. “We have to create new mental illness categories and solve this problem immediately, was said to complete the revelry.
Everyone stood up and clapped. Almost everyone.
There was dissent in the ranks. Not all were in agreement or on board with the thought of drugging thousands of more citizens with brain damaging medications. Some were even concerned about categories put forth to target children. Children.
More discussions were had, the top dogs – holy eminence Ronald Pies, M.D. and his court of jesters Nassir Ghaemi, M.D et al – granted even more microphone time to try and calm the psych void royalty and squash opposition.
“But we must,” the grand poo pas of the psych void unconvincingly put forth as argument yet everyone had had enough of the over-air conditioned conference room and were still cranky from missing their early morning tee time. They nodded their heads lamely in agreement.
“Yes, we must,” was the consensual refrain put forth by all in hopes this meeting would end sooner than later and they could all get back to their snug homes in the suburbs.
Consensual consent minus one.
Dr. New stood up and addressed the crowd. “I know I was not invited to speak,” he shyly admitted while all nodded in agreement while staring indignantly at this wayward prince WhatsHisName who of course was not invited to speak as he’d just graduated from the academy of NoGood and had not been versed in the lessons of corporate profit and greed and how psych void psych diagnosis are made and the little people of the kingdom kept under wraps.
Of course he was not on the roster of exalted speakers scheduled to speak or invited to step up to the podium.
“But isn’t it going to make more people sicker if we use medications that we know don’t work and are unecessary and wouldn’t it be better to try and improve our track record helping those we know really do suffer from mental health issues before creating more problems targeting innocent people who aren’t really ill?” His voice creaked.
Chairs squeaked as nervous potential dissenting participants started to get nervous while straining to hear WhatsHisName who had not been given a microphone.
“They will never know!” psych void top dog king Ronald bellowed with rage and indignity plus a blushing cheek or two. The mircophone shook in his hand.
“The drugs disable the part of the brain connected to higher thought and reasoning, we all know this and this nonsense that we have to care about the health and well being of our patients must stop.”
“Stop now!” he chanted at the crowd for effect and to of course intimidate anyone who may not be in agreement.
The whir of the air conditioner seemed to jump a notch. Heads bowed, dissent quieted. Yes, we must, thought all attendees (the one exception being Dr. New) as thoughts of more free lunches and gold-embossed prescription pads danced through their heads.
We must. And that, is how the Bipolar Spectrum came to be.
Related post: Ronald Pies, M.D. and the Bipolar Spectrum.
Psychiatric Times Write-up on Dr. Pies and the Bipolar Spectrum
Note: A short write-up on how the spectrum was created by Dr. Pies can be read here on Psychiatric Times.com: Bipolar Spectrum Diagnostic Scale (BSDS).
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