Hypomania & Mania Archives – Bipolar 1 Survivor

Is Hypomania Always a Bad Thing?

10.26.2018 by Molly McHugh // Leave a Comment

Is hypomania always a bad thing? Hypomania is a critical concept to understand and deal with as best as possible for those with Manic Depression – now called “Bipolar 1 Disorder“. But is it always a bad thing?

Have doctors gone overboard in their attention to it and is it being misused as a way to prescribe greater amounts of psychotropic ‘mood stabilizing’ drugs?

I think the answer is yes, though of course the big picture is complicated. When hypomania is connected to someone who clearly is BP-1 and in treatment or living with the illness independently like I am then it goes without saying it is critical to understand and deal with when it begins to present itself in your life.

I wrote about a recent experience of mine here: I Was Hypomanic and all is Fine.

But in all cases is hypomania bad? Something to fear and ‘have to recognize’ and deal with?

Have Psych Docs Criminalized Hypomania?

Have psych docs – and their pharmaceutical handlers – criminalized hypomania?

No, they are not arresting people who have a period of heightened mood… but they have made it an experience to be wary of. Something to jump at the slightest hint of in your life and something you then have to go to a doctor to get help with and possibly take medication.

That is what I mean by my sarcastic ‘criminalized’ comment – they’ve turned something that is fairly common and normal into something scary and wrong. It is neither.

And Big Pharma, of course, profits hugely from this ‘new take’ on hypomania. That’s why I sarcastically call them the shrink’s handlers. Big Pharma’s agenda and the pharmaceutical reps who work for them and go knocking on doctor’s doors selling their wares (psychotropic medications) are controlling a field of medicine in significant ways.

There is no valid argument against that… it’s fact. It is how our medical system currently works. Do you want to be controlled in this way? Or would you rather learn and make educated decisions about your life and your mental health care?

Hypomania Can Be a Spice of Life

Maybe experiencing the state of hypomania is not the spice of life… but it is a positive thing in general and usually enjoyable.

Have you ever been in love? Been a teenager? Then most likely you’ve had a bit of ‘hypomania’ in your life.

Got engaged and are planning your dream wedding? Or maybe you have been given a raise and over-the-top performance review at a job you worked years to land, then took your significant other out for a special night on the town. You felt so good that day. Maybe even felt a little ‘high’, no?

Hypomania is not always a bad thing. To feel good in life and have some natural high times is one of life’s hightlights, not something to be diagnosed and medicated away.

This can be when someone gets diagnosed with ‘Bipolar II Disorder‘ (BP-2) instead of Major Depressive Disorder. Or, quite possibly a person is in treatment for depression, the doctor prescribes an antidepressant and the person has an elevated mood as a side effect of the drug.

The doctor then – rather than have to take responsibility for a known side effect of the drug and possibly lower a dose or stop the drug to go through more trials of other medications – changes a diagnosis of depression to ‘bipolar’.

Have you ever been prescribed Cymbalta – the most prescribed antidepressant in America (2014)? Did you know a common side effect of the med is “abnormal excitement”. Another is “acting without thinking”.

Hmmm. What does that make you think of? A drug induced temporary state of hypomania that has nothing to do with bipolar? That’s what I think of.

The patient who then gets a BP-2 diagnosis feels better. The depression felt like a life sentence as was not being treated successfully… now they have a new diagnosis and new (false) sense of hope.

So what’s wrong with that you may ask? The problem is – psychotropic medications are toxic and all have serious side effects. Not to mention the fact a period of elevated mood does not equate to the devastating condition of Manic Depression. It is a normal part of life.

The big exemption to this type of thinking and where the ‘big picture is complicated’ comes in is in cases of severe depression that may include actual mood swings – not heightened feel good moods from a prescription drug reaction or from self-medicating with recreational drugs (cocaine, pot, alcohol, etc.).

If you are Manic Depressive then hypomania is a mood state that has to be carefully monitored and thought of as possibly needing medication as it may lead to an actual period of serious illness i.e. mania.

If you are not, then don’t let a doctor convince you it is abnormal. Psychiatrists get a huge payout for prescribing psychotropic medications… the more the better.

Know this reality and try and protect yourself from being a victim of misdiagnosis leading to the pressure to take large amounts of brain damaging psychotropic medications.

In peace, Molly

Your Music Goes Good With a Beer and My Mania

06.09.2017 by Molly McHugh // Leave a Comment

Your music goes good with a beer and my mania. That should be in quotes. I heard it yesterday evening on the car radio. Made me laugh.

Brillaint Memoir of Living with Manic Depression by a Brilliant Lady.

Like Cyndi Lauper’s song “Manic Monday”, mania is a fun concept and can be used for a good laugh to spice up conversation – or a pop song. That is when it doesn’t actually refer to actual mania. Then it’s not quite as funny, unfortunately.

Just Another Manic Monday

Fun, punchy song like most of her music with fun lyrics:

It’s just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
Cause that’s my funday
An I-don’t-have-to-run day
It’s just another manic Monday

And the gal on the radio sounded funny too.

When Most Say Mania They Really Mean Hypomania

I worked at Microsoft years ago as a contractor doing some of the zillion front-end web development tasks they needed done. It was fun. I loved working there alongside many other Generation Xers. It was the start of a nice full-time, successful work period; from the time my son was 6 months old until he was 4 1/2 or so.

Thanks to a booming economy and a college degree, even someone like me who had a spotty work history at the time – and a mental illness too – could find work.

I shared an office for a bit with a nice guy and one day via some conversation he made a comment about Steve Ballmer who was CEO at the time and one seriously loud, forceful guy. The yang to calmer, geekier Bill Gates’ yin.

He said something about Steve Ballmer being “manic”. He’s not actually manic, I corrected my co-worker, but a bit hypomanic. Then quickly hoped I’d not said too much, given myself away.

Why would I know or care about the difference? Make a point to correct something that was just said in jest, in the normal casual way the term is often used?

Because I had lived at that time with Manic Depression for more than 10 years, and knew how serious actual mania is. I’d been hospitalized a couple of times because of it.

I only wish I was like Ballmer and crazy-smart and successful. Us true bipolar sufferers – now called BP-1 – have to live in fear we don’t actually become manic. And it often hinders successful functioning in the world, including the ability to have a successful career.

And no, there is no medication that will assure you remain stable after being diagnosed. Like many, I was intolerant to lithium. It caused a worsening of my condition.

Other psychotropic medications can create additional mood disturbance as well and are a leading cause of disability.

When Mania Isn’t Fun

Mania in general is usually a period of ramped-up, uncontrollable energy. A physical state of being where the body goes into hyperdrive and the person has little to no control over it.

And the person did not take cocaine, speed, etc. but it is like they have. And it is pretty terrifying. Once the fun part gets run through – in a few days, week maybe, depending on how rapidly the person cycles – the feeling great like you are ‘on top of the world’ part ends.

During the manic episode you may have been overly-productive or just busy, busy, busy and not getting a ton done in actuality… but who really cares. You feel GREAT! Until it ends. The high state never lasts forever. And when it ends, it can leave a wake of destruction behind.

Just like someone who goes on a coke-binge and ends up in jail because of their reckless, out-of-control behavior (or even a psych ward) – a manic depressive person can suffer serious consequences from actions taken during a manic state.

And when the mania is not from an activity or action they had control over (recreational drug use, misusing prescription meds) it is one of the most tragic parts of the actual illness. It is not the person’s fault. They – like me – inherited a medical condition that creates this biochemical situation, and they have to live through the episodes and the painful aftermath.

You realize what happened after it is over, rarely before or during, especially when young. Most young adults are a bit crazy at times. Mania in adults is actually rare.

Quoted from WebMD.com:

“It’s rare that newly diagnosed mania is seen in children or in adults over age 65.”

Source: Bipolar Disorder.

As you live with this illness – at least for me – these states do become more recognizable. And can be prevented. Or at least halted much sooner than occurred when the illness first bashed its way into your life. Without your permission.

A few years of the cycles, medications during times of crisis and life in general – helps to learn how the illness affects you. You learn what hypomania states are for you i.e. when you are actually starting to ramp up, and how they can progress into actual mania.

I wrote about one of my experiences a few months ago here: I Was Hypomanic and all is Fine.

I do not take psychotropic medications, yet was able to get through the episode. From past experience I recognized what I was experiencing and just let it take its course. While I made sure I got some healthy exercise (took walks) and went to bed at a decent hour.

Today is not Monday but I am going to have a bit of fun. Have special evening plans. I’ll just make sure not too much fun. Definitely don’t want to become manic 🙂

Antipsychotic Medications Made Me Psychotic

04.27.2017 by Molly McHugh // Leave a Comment

Antipsychotic medications made me psychotic. Really. The second time it was after one or two doses, that I then abruptly stopped. I had enough issues as a Manic Depressive, single, low-income Mom. I didn’t need to add psychosis to the list.

If I hadn’t stopped the antipsychotic medication I would have suffered more illness and most likely been hospitalized. At that time I was 38 years old, my son was eight. I had not been hospitalized in 12 years as I’d not had any episodes of mania leading to psychosis.

Every year that reality remained I was grateful for. Every day I was able to care and provide for my son I was grateful for. I still am. The last hospitalization I had was around age 26, more than 25 years ago.

I had an evaluation with a psychiatrist – last one and hope to never have another. It was not for a crisis, just supportive care. He was nice to talk to, I met with him a few times and he helped me deal with some ‘bipolar-related’ as well as personal issues

He also wanted to put me back on lithium – of course – but I said no. So he wrote a prescription for one of the antipsychotic medications on the market.

I took maybe two doses, then started to feel strange. And I’d experienced it before, from other psych meds. I knew if I took more of the drug, it would make me ill. So I stopped. I like my clear-headed, decent level IQ functioning I am fortunate to have.

The only psychotropic medication I’ve tolerated for any length of time is lithium. But even that made me worse after a year. I had to go through withdrawal alone, no medical supervision other than the books I read.

Understanding How These Medications Work Would Have Saved Me a Ton of Grief

Every time a medication did not work I took it as a personal failure. It felt like yet one more piece of the already large evidence pile that I was a hopeless case. That no medication would help me – like I fantisized they were helping others – therefore I’d never get better.

What a load of crap that thinking is I now know. And I want anyone else who feels this way or has felt this way to understand that too.

Related post: Would I Ever Take Prozac Again?

Olfactory Hallucination from an Antipsychotic Medication

I have no idea what medication it was, the name of the drug. But it was given to me as an outpatient after a two week hospitalization (many years ago, age 26 or so) for an episode of out-of-control mania. I wrote about it in my book in detail.

I don’t hallucinate, I’ve never heard voices, etc. But after taking the pill I started to smell smoke and went through all the drama (for about 15 minutes) of thinking the condo was on fire, or the one next door. Then when there was no fire, I started to realize I was smelling something that wasn’t there.

That’s an olfactory hallucination. The one and only time in my life I’ve experienced one – and it was from the psychotropic medication. The medical term for this is “Phantosmia”.

The below is quoted from the article: What Causes Olfactory Hallucinations (Phantosmia)?

“An olfactory hallucination (phantosmia) makes you detect smells that aren’t really present in your environment.”

“Phantosmia may occur after a head injury or upper respiratory infection. It can also be caused by temporal lobe seizures, inflamed sinuses, brain tumors and Parkinson’s disease.”

Source: The Mayo Clinic.

They can add to that list: antipsychotic medications.

If I really had a medical condition that causes olfactory hallucinations, it would have been present before I took the med (no, never) and continued after I stopped taking the med (no, didn’t). The antipsychotic medication created the symptom.

How Can Antipsychotic Medications Cause Psychosis in Bipolar Disorder?

The science is too complicated to get into here, but in general there are two issues:

1. If you are not psychotic, why are you taking antipsychotic medications?

2. Bipolar disorder is not schizophrenia. In general, these medications are specific for treatment of symptoms of schizophrenia.

Even for people who suffer from schizophrenia, there is much research on the negative effects of long-term use of antipsychotic medications.

Many Bipolar Disorder Patients Don’t Realize They are On Antipsychotic Medication

Many who get prescribed these medications may not even realize they are taking them. That is medical negligence in and of itself, as informed consent about any medical treatment is ethically and legally mandated.

The below is quoted from the American Psychiatric Association Resource Document on Principles of Informed Consent in Psychiatry:

“Informed consent has legal, ethical, and clinical dimensions.”

“From the legal perspective, it requires physicians to disclose certain classes of information to patients, and to obtain their consent before initiating medical treatment.”

“In its ethical dimension informed consent encourages respect for individual autonomy in medical decision making.

Source: The American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law.

Psychiatrists prescribe these medications for ‘off-label’ use. You should be told if you are being prescribed a medication that is for a symptom never evaluated for risks and safety and approved by the FDA.

It is illegal for manufacturers to promote a medication for untested, unapproved medical conditions, but doctors can do it no problem. And the patient rarely has a clue that is what they are being subjected to.

Examples of off-label use of antipsychotic medications: anxiety, ADHD, depression, OCD, autism, dementia and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Source: Off-label Use of Atypical Antipsychotics.

The second – and last – time I was prescribed an antipsychotic medication (described above) it was for off-label use. And I knew that. And it is partly why I stopped taking it immediately when experienced an adverse effect.

I knew there was no reason for me to be on it in the first place. If I had been actually manic and had to be hospitalized, that would have been a different story but I was not. I went on with my life, lived well at times and struggled at other times as others do who have a mood disorder.

I am sure my experience is not unique in any way, or uncommon. It is just not commonly talked about, or those diagnosed bipolar are afraid to. They shouldn’t be.

And if psychiatric care by Big Pharma-contolled psychiatrists is making you worse, you should seek other forms of health care to help you heal.

I’ve created a free list of “Holisitc Psychiatrits in the United States“. That may be a great place to start. You can view it here: Holistic Psychiatrists in the United States.