I feel very honored to get to interview Samina Raza. She is Manic Depressive similar to me and has been blogging about the disorder since August, 2014: Bipolar1Blog.com. She writes from a personal angle, sharing her struggles with mania and depression plus includes pertinent science-related information. Both make her writing of much value to others – I love her posts!

She also blogs for the International Bipolar Foundation and the Huffington Post. She is incredibly inspiring. She is a molecular biologist, has a MSEd, an amazing son (lawyer!) and devoted husband – they’ve been married more than 28 years.

1.   Thank you for taking the time to share your story. Can you tell us a little about yourself?

I was born in India, grew up in Pakistan till I was 11 years old and then moved to Buffalo New York, when both my medical doctor parents brought us to the USA. I have a Master’s degree in Molecular biology and an MSEd in Education School Counseling. I am an extremely proud mother of a son who recently graduated from Law School and passed the NYS Bar Examination!

Note from Molly: That is awesome, congrats to both of you 🙂
 

2.   What events led to you receiving a diagnosis of bipolar disorder?

My younger brother was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder, possibly Schizoaffective disorder. Because of the immense stress of him coming down with his illness, my symptoms also surfaced. It was an awful time for my family, my mother went into a severe, unremitting depression, I also went into a depression at first.

We tragically lost my brother to mental illness when he was only 26 years old.

When I was put on antidepressants without a mood stabilizer, I went into a full blown manic phase and had to be hospitalized for a month! When I was released, my “out of touch with reality” thoughts were gone, but I still suffered from massive amounts of anxiety. However, that also dissipated after a while.
 

3.   If you don’t mind, can you share how old you were at the time of diagnosis and what type of bipolar illness you have i.e. Bipolar I Disorder (BP-1), Bipolar II Disorder (BP-2), Cyclothymic, etc.

I was 25 years of age upon diagnosis, and I have Bipolar 1 Disorder.
 

4.   Do you have other diagnosed medical conditions besides bipolar (physical or mental)? For example, I have fibromyalgia and deal with chronic fatigue. I also have a form of subclinical hypothyroid. All of these have affected my bipolar states and when treated successfully my severe bipolar illness states (mania, suicidal depression) improved much.

I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. This is an autoimmune condition in which your immune system literally attacks your thyroid gland and knocks it out. Mental illnesses seem to be associated with immune system abberancies. I also have food allergies and sensitivities. The gut is also associated with mental illnesses.

Note from Molly: Exactly, and better early diagnosis and treatment for these (rather than a psych label and psych meds) so that many can avoid long-term disability and worsening of symptoms – especially those who primarily suffer with depression (i.e. BP-2). Yes?
 

5.   Now for the good stuff! What things – medications, vitamins, therapy, books, alternative treatments, etc. – have helped you to not only survive this difficult illness but thrive in your life?

What helps me when I’m sick is Lithium and Seroquel. By sick I mean in a depression or in a manicky phase. If I’m not in those phases, then of course exercise as in Zumba, yoga, meditation, walking, reading books, cooking, dancing and acting are my favorite things to do.

Note from Molly: Excellent. Some have to use meds at times, glad you found ones that help you live a quality life.
 

6.   What advice do you have for others who may be overwhelmed by the symptoms (hypomania leading to impulsive behaviour, rapid cycling mood changes, hospitalizations due to severe depressive episode or a manic episode resulting in psychosis…) and feel discouraged or without hope?

The only thing in my opinion that will take you off of a depression or hypomanic phase is medication. Seeing a psychiatrist and getting the proper medications will do a world of good.

Note: For people with bipolar disorder, Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRI’s) are completely contraindicated. They can cause us to have mixed phases, which are very unpleasant, to say the least. And anxiety as well.

Thank You!

So nice of you to take the time to share here and is much appreciated.

I get the medication focus – especially for Manic Depression. BP-1 is much more difficult to treat than depression. We get both, the severe depressive episodes characteristic of a Major Depressive Disorder diagnosis, plus the insanity of mania that no one can really understand unless they have lived it.

I’ve lived it, as you have and agree completely it needs medication when is severe. And also that we need better understanding and non-harmful treatments. It’s happening, they’ve successfully treated a young college student (age 19 I think) who went manic and was hospitalized with charcoal in the gut.

Fascinating no? We’ve got to keep fighting. Hugs.

I am so psyched to connect with Anne Cain – and love the title of her blog (lol): “Bipolar Survivor“. Ann blogs about her frustrations, happiness and the illness plus shares some really cute pet pics. You can check out her Facebook page here: Anne Cain Bipolar Survivor.

1.  Thank you for taking the time to share your story. Can you tell us a little about yourself?

I am a wife and a stay at home mother to 2 teenage daughters. I have an overwhelming love for animals, especially beagles. I have 2 of my own in addition to a black lab mix, 2 cats, and 4 chickens. I am a foster mother for cats at my local Humane Society and I also volunteer there with my daughter on the weekends.

I love musicals and opera. I am a classically trained Soprano and dreamed of Broadway and the MET. Now I just offer free concerts while I work out in my garden listening to my headphones! I enjoy all kinds of music. I also love coffee and wine. But most of all, I love snuggling at home with my husband, children, & pets.
 

2.  What events led to you receiving a diagnosis of bipolar disorder?

I was already being treated for depression and anxiety and I started having terrible insomnia. After trying everything I could, I went to my primary care physician and he gave me something to help me sleep. It worked, but it wasn’t long before it stopped working.

I went back and he asked me a few questions, then his expression changed and he started asking me different questions. When he was done, he told me that he thought I had bipolar disorder. He told me that he could start me off on some medication but I would need to find a psychiatrist for a full diagnoses and treatment. I did and the rest is history.
 

3.  If you don’t mind, can you share how old you were at the time of diagnosis and what type of bipolar illness you have i.e. Bipolar I Disorder (BP-1), Bipolar II Disorder (BP-2), Cyclothymic, etc.

The first time someone told me that I may have a mental illness was when I sought help at the counseling center in college. It was 1997, I was 19 and felt very low. He told me that he didn’t think he could help me because he thought I was Manic Depressive and they weren’t trained for that.

“Manic Depressive?” I thought, “That is crazy!” I left and didn’t seek help again until after my daughter was born in 1999. I was initially diagnosed with Postpartum Depression and then Major Depressive Disorder shortly after.

It wasn’t until 2006 that I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder. I was 27.
 

4.  Do you have other diagnosed medical conditions besides bipolar physical or mental)? For example, I have fibromyalgia and deal with chronic fatigue. I also have a form of subclinica hypothyroid. All of these have affected my bipolar states and when treated successfully my severe bipolar illness states (mania, suicidal depression) improved much.

I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder in 2003, although I am pretty sure I have had it my entire life. When I am in a depressive episode my anxiety gets really bad.

Note from Molly: Other sufferers have shared similar experiences and I want to include on the site more information on anxiety as it connects to bipolar. A guest post is coming up soon from someone much more familiar with the issue than I am. It will have links to resources, will add here when is completed.
 

5.  Now for the good stuff! What things – medications, vitamins, therapy, books, alternative treatments, etc. – have helped you to not only survive this difficult illness but thrive in your life?

I have been on 900 mg of lithium for the entire 10 years of my diagnoses. I think I finally have a good combination with 100 mg of Pristiq and 25-200 mg of Seroquel. I also think education has helped immensely.

I have read books, articles and listened to experiences my friends (in person and online) have had with this disorder. I started living a very positive, healthy life. Routine and sleep are my best friends.

I also diffuse essential oils, I don’t know if it actually works, but it smells good 🙂
 

6.  What advice do you have for others who may be overwhelmed by the symptoms (hypomania leading to impulsive behaviour, rapid cycling mood changes, hospitalizations due to severe depressive episode or a manic episode resulting in psychosis…) and feel discouraged or without hope?

Stop. Take a moment to catch your breath. Make a goal for yourself. Start simple like “getting out of bed.” Then add a new goal when you are ready and keep moving forward. Ask for help, whether family, friends, or someone online. Someone is always there to listen.

Thank you!

What a great story and it is clear you have created quite a lovely life for yourself – in spite of living with bipolar – which is impressive and inspiring. Two kids would have pushed me over the edge (just Mom to one teenage son) so you get extra admiration there too 🙂

The music part I am simply jealous about, and it is sad you have not gotten to live your dream of being a professional singer but who knows what the future holds. I personally think you should start recording some of your backyard concerts and putting the tracks up on YouTube and your website!

Photograph courtesy of Anne Cain, all rights reserved.

This is an interview with John from California who I met in a Goodreads book club (we are both authors). He did a very nice review of my book and gave some great critical feedback on the writing – John is a 17 year magazine editor and writer. I wish I could have hired him before publishing!

John has written two books – a collection of travel humor and a memoir of his time in Vietnam. For this interview he wanted to remain anonymous, the only reason I am not publishing the titles and links to Amazon sales page. There’s more cool things about him… check out the below.

1.   Thank you for taking the time to share your story. Can you tell us a little about yourself?

Sure, I’m an author, writer, and former magazine editor. I’m divorced, have a son, and am a Vietnam vet.

I’m an avid traveler and have published a collection of my travel humor, as well as a humorous memoir of my tour of duty in Vietnam. At the age of 62 I joined the Peace Corps and served as an English teacher in the Philippines for two years.

2.   What events led to you receiving a diagnosis of bipolar disorder?

I was diagnosed with manic-depression, not bipolar disorder. It evolved after my divorce in my late 40s, which was a gut-wrenching ordeal. I was overwhelmed by fatigue, sleep disorders, and bouts of incapacitation that felt like my chest was collapsing under an enormous weight.

My only recourse was to crawl into bed, cover myself up, and wait it out. During the attacks, I didn’t want to leave the bed, the room, or turn on the light. The very thought of going outside and seeing or talking to anyone was inconceivable.

I finally sought help of a therapist who was wonderful. She went through my family history and concluded, much to my surprise, that “Your depression symptoms are not recent. I believe you’ve been depressed ‘all’ your life.”

When she said that, it all became clear. Looking back, I realized she was right. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. Extremely strict parents; berating, intimidating father; psychologically disturbed mother; estranged sisters; few friends; shy, withdrawn, socially awkward personality. As a result, I kept mostly to my room through my entire youth where I escaped into fantasy (hence my early knack for writing).

My tour of duty in Vietnam helped me in more ways than one. I saw no combat, but I worked in a very highly classified area of the base. It was my first-ever job in my life. After being berated all my life by my father for my shortcomings, I was finally on my own and no longer underneath is unceasing criticism. I not only flourished, I kicked ass.

In Vietnam, we worked 7 days a week 12 hours a day, 365 days a year. I not only became invaluable to my superior officers but they awarded me a Bronze Star, the fourth highest medal in the Armed Services. From then on, I was no longer quiet, withdrawn, or insecure. I emerged sure of myself.

Upon why return, my newfound confidence immediately clashed with my father, and for the first time I was able to stand up to him. Although I had emerged a new man, the chemical imbalance in my brain that had afflicted my mother’s side of the family for generations was still there, as were the serious scars from my tumultuous family life. Over the ensuing years my confidence and self-esteem began to gradually slip back to where they had been during my youth.
 

3.   If you don’t mind, can you share how old you were at the time of diagnosis and what type of bipolar illness you have i.e. Bipolar I Disorder (BP-1), Bipolar II Disorder (BP-2), Cyclothymic, etc.

Manic Depression in my late 40s.
 

4.   Do you have other diagnosed medical conditions besides bipolar(physical or mental)? For example, I have fibromyalgia and deal with chronic fatigue. I also have a form of subclinical hypothyroid. All of these have affected my bipolar states and when treated successfully my severe bipolar illness states (mania, suicidal depression) improved much.

Only other medical conditions are glaucoma, which doesn’t affect my depression, and occasional sprains here and there from tennis.

Note from Molly: Lol. Tennis sprains can be nasty!
 

5.   Now for the good stuff! What things – medications, vitamins,therapy, books, alternative treatments, etc. – have helped you to not only survive this difficult illness but thrive in your life?

My therapist prescribed Zoloft, which worked wonders. But it did not help with my sleep disorders (night-owl tendency, super-active mind, and restless legs syndrome, which sounds silly but is worse than the notorious Chinese Water Torture), so she also prescribed Ambien, which also worked well, except for the giant spider hallucinations at the corner of my right eye, which after awhile I kind of looked forward to. “Oh, hello again, Ralph.”

Years later, a new doctor took me off Ambien (“It should only be for temporary use, not all the time.”). Instead, he prescribed Trazadone for depression because it also helps put you to sleep and keeps you asleep. I’ve been using it ever since with wonderful results and no side effects. Sorry, Ralph — miss U!

Note from Molly: Lol again. Ralph sounded kind-of cute…

I’ve found nothing useful for my depression other than medication. I’ve got a chemical imbalance in my brain that is not going to go away because I go to a quiet dark room, relax, and listen to soothing music. My depression scoffs at soothing music.

I don’t trust vitamins or health supplements either after a recent documentary on the industry. Thirty percent of the time the ingredients in the pills were found to be not present at all, plus most of them are dangerously toxic (instead of giving you 100% of your daily suggested amount, many are for 400% or 600% — check your labels before you buy).

Note from Molly: There are mass-produced crap brands, but also many quality supplements, some that consent to independent testing. And the toxic effects in that documentary “The Truth about Vitamins” were from taking large doses, not recommended amounts. Just clarifying…

Yoga…really? I don’t know what that does for anyone except loosen their wallet. Therapy? Everyone I’ve ever know who’s gone to therapists has been doing so for years, some for decades, and they still have the same problems. That ought to tell you something.

It seems to me that seeing a therapist for depression over and over again would result in the opposite – it would make me more depressed. Although a therapist did help diagnose my depression, I’ve never seen the logic or had the need to go back. What else would she tell me – you still have it?

Of course I still have it. I’ll always have it. I’d only need to see her again if I could no longer cope with having depression. But I do cope with it. I accept it, I treat it, I’m fine.

As for books, I’ve looked at a few, but most repeat the same common sense things. One book, however, was very specific and helped me greatly. It was offered as part of a class that my health provider offered. “Ten Days to Self-Esteem” by David D. Burns, M.D.

It covers such topics as “You Can Change the Way You Feel,” “Getting Down to Root Causes,” “The Perfectionist’s Script for Self-Defeat,” and tons of self-help forms and charts to fill out.
 

6.   What advice do you have for others who may be overwhelmed by the symptoms (hypomania leading to impulsive behaviour, rapid cycling mood changes, hospitalizations due to severe depressive episode or a manic episode resulting in psychosis…) and feel discouraged or without hope?

Since I don’t have this severe form of depression and have never experienced the above symptoms or been hospitalized, I can offer no firsthand advice here. The only thing I might say about my manic-depression condition is that, since taking Trazadone, I almost never experience the depression symptoms.

However, my manic state is very much alive, is not suppressed, and seems to be perpetually at the ready. And when it kicks in, I embrace it. Let the dogs out!

I’ve never taken drugs like speed or cocaine, but when I’m locked onto a project (from something as mundane as arranging my CDs to rewriting an entire novel, I am fiendish until I get it done). And even more surprising, the quality and quantity that results from such gushes of energy are always top notch. The happiest moments of my life now occur during such manic episodes.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking (’cause I’m thinking the same thing’). If I’m taking medication to suppress my manic-depression, wouldn’t the medication suppress both the manic and depression states?

Why would it suppress one but not the other? One explanation is that maybe these periods when I think I’m in a manic state are really something else. Bottom line: I don’t care. I choose to think it’s my manic state. Maybe that’s my way of coping with my condition. Of owning it. To me, I’m beating both parts of my condition.

Trazadone takes care of one half; I embrace the other half. Take that, Depression – you can’t handle the truth!

Thank you!

Wow, what a story and it is so important for all stories to be told. Especially those of us who have lived with this condition for many years. It is a lifelong illness, and you seem to have not only coped well, but thrived much of the time. Congrats to you.

I get your point about mania too. Some of what you describe sounds more like hypomania, than actual mania or maybe a mix and you are fortunate you can have some control when in that state, or that your high states don’t spiral out of control.

Some of us do spiral out of control at times like me, so mania is often a quick trip into treatment, or possibly to being involuntarily hospitalized. Just wanted to note that.

It’s an incredibly complicated illness. Why we need better understanding and treatment options from the onset of Manic Depression throughout the years we all survive it.

Best to you. And get back to me about our ‘need to be planned’ trip. 🙂 Molly

Photograph of Cook’s island is a free use image on Wikipedia.